Wrong Intel (Mario's Memoirs #3)

Another day, another castle. I think I killed a lizard today. I don’t know how to feel. I like to think that throwing Koopa into the lava was some kind of divine justice, but truth be told, it was my own hand that pulled that lever, and I know I'll have a hard time living with that burden. Some intel tells me that he might not be down for good, that he could be lava-resistant. Tough enemy. Nevertheless, this is the same intel that failed to inform me of the location of Peach. Yeah, that’s right, she is in another castle.

I told Toad how sorry I was for bitch slapping him after he told me of the flawed intel. I couldn’t control myself, it was as if a demon took over and bitch slapped the humungus fungus out of that mushroom (hey! A rhyme).

Mamma mia, the motherfucker had it figured it out. He really played us with that last castle. We will be storming another castle later this week. There’s some talk about an underwater operation, but I cannot confirm this. I’d definitely swim in an piranha-infested pond for this woman. The Kingdom needs her and I love her, man.

For now, I hope Koopa is dead and I’m really looking forward for the people of the Kingdom to have a good night’s sleep now that the bastard is gone. There's still much work to do. I won’t give up, I can’t give up. This was a great victory, but the fight is not over. I’m going to kill them all if I have to.

—Yours, Mario